Thursday, March 10, 2005

boys - part one

I didn't have a boyfriend until I was a sophomore in high school, which was a lot later than most of my friends. I think it was because I was super shy and my self-esteem was so low that I couldn't ever believe that a boy would actually like me. and I was a big tomboy growing up, probably because I was uncomfortable being a girl. and because I grew up with two brothers and no sisters.

there were boys that liked me in middle school, quite a few actually for some reason, including a boy that had liked me since the third grade. I really liked him too but I didn't know what to do or how to act. it was embarassing to be so clueless about it so I just pretended that I didn't like him more than a friend. we did eventually go to a dance together our freshman year but by then it was pretty anticlimactic. I think he was tired of waiting and we decided we were going to just be friends. he was such a sweet boy, he would have been a great first boyfriend. we were pretty close friends until graduation, then we lost touch.

I had a couple of bad experiences with boys after that. the following summer I was working in the office of a nursing home and met a boy who was doing maintenance. he was a couple of years older than me. I was one of the two teenage girls working there and the other girl was a bit of a prude. so he started eating lunch with me and flirting with me. it eventually lead to some kissing when we were alone. he seemed nice enough but he was always trying to take things further. when he finally realized that I wasn't going to have sex with him, he stopped talking to me completely.

once school started, I met a girl who had transferred from another school in a nearby town. she was different from the girls I grew up with, she seemed so mature and she was completely boy-crazy. we were both in band and got to be superficial friends. she was a girl who was used to getting her own way and I was a girl who was used to doing what I was told. she knew about the boy from summer and knew that I wasn't really excited about meeting another boy but she somehow talked me into going on a date with a friend of her boyfriend.

we arranged it so that I would spend the night at her house and we would meet the boys after a football game. my date, Jeff, was on the team so we had to wait for him to finish playing. I spent the whole time during the game hanging out with people I didn't even know, which was never fun for me. and our whole "date" consisted of us spending the evening in her boyfriend's back seat while they made out in the front seat. we talked a little, kissed a little, he seemed like a nice guy.

we went on a few dates alone, to the movies or out to eat. I liked him but never really considered him my boyfriend. we didn't really go out that often and stopped seeing each other when my friend broke up with her boyfriend. apparently, Jeff had liked my friend for a while. no loss really. one day out of the blue he called me to tell me that they had broken up and that he wanted to see me. somehow she blamed it on me and we weren't friends anymore after that.

I met my first boyfriend when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore. we were both in band (yes, former band geek here!) and we would hang out during varsity football games. his name was Rob and he was funny and sweet and outgoing and popular. he played the tuba and was on the football team and wrestled. I don't think we really had much in common but he seemed harmless and he thought I was funny and cute so when he asked me to go out with him about a month after we met, I said yes. we "dated" for most of that school year and during that time only broke up once for a month or so. I can't remember why.

we were both too young to drive plus my high school was not in the town where I lived, so we didn't really go on many dates. we would spend all our free time together during school and on band trips we would spend the whole ride making out. I loved to make out, could and did do it for hours without really going any farther. he was a little handsy for me but it never got out of control.

our varsity football team went to State that year, which involved a long bus trip there and back. Rob's parents drove up for the game so he had to ride home with them. he introduced me to one of his friends and told me to sit with him. he told his friend to take care of me and make sure I was safe. how sweet is that? this guy, Jimmy, and I hit it off instantly. he made me laugh the whole way home. I don't think I ever had so much in common with someone else before. of course, I developed a huge crush on him. apparently he liked me too.

Rob had an older brother (in my grade) who really didn't like me for some reason. Mike was also in band. he would spend entire bus trips glaring at us. on one trip he walked by our seat and hit Rob in the back of the head, causing him to hit my mouth with his mouth, which broke a good-sized piece off of my front left tooth. god, that was so humiliating. it took about four trips to the dentist to get it permanently fixed. so stupid.

I dated two boys during that month or two that we broke up. the first boy was also in band (yeah, I know). I don't even remember how that got started and I had no idea that he like me, as usual. his name was Brad and he was from the Boys' Ranch (read as, juvenile detention center). completely not my type but really cute and nice for a delinquent. everyone hated that we were going out, especially Rob. I guess Brad probably wasn't a good guy but he was always nice to me. he was a big flirt though, and my frail ego couldn't deal with that so I broke up with him after a couple of weeks.

shortly after that breakup, a girl I had known since elementary school told me about a friend of hers that had liked me for about a year. he was in my English class, I think I sat right behind him but he never talked to me much. he was not in band, for a change, he was kind of an art guy. he was also a bit of a stoner and would go out during lunch and get drunk and stuff. still, she said he was really nice and really liked me a lot and hated seeing me with Brad. he wanted me to go to some Valentine's dance with him but was too shy to ask me himself. he was cute and smart and nice, so I said I would go. his name was John.

he started hanging out with me and my friends during school, which was nice but also strange. we talked a little but were both so shy and quiet around each other. it was awkward, but I did find out that he actually was a nice guy. the drugs and drinking bothered me, but I never really told him about it. we hadn't even been on a date yet, I would never have dreamt of telling him that.

the day of the dance finally came. it was a Friday night. I had to get a ride with a friend's parents because none of us had our license yet. John was waiting for me outside the building. my friend went inside but we just stood outside talking. he said that he didn't actually want to go to the dance, that it was just an excuse to go out with me. so instead we just walked around outside and talked. we made our way to the middle school and just hung out until it was time to go home. he never even tried to hold my hand or kiss me, which was very sweet.

the next day my best friend called me at my grandmother's house and said that John called her to get my number. it never occurred to me to give it to him for some reason. maybe because we didn't have a phone. she said he sounded kinda' anxious about it, which was weird. my friend and I made plans to go to a basketball game that night, just for something to do. Rob was there, hanging out with two other girls, one of them was his ex-girlfriend from middle school. but as soon as he saw us there, he left them and sat with us for the rest of the game. at the end of the night, he asked me if we could get back together and we did.

when I told John about it on Monday, he looked really hurt. I felt bad about that. he eventually started dating a girl that was a couple of years younger than us, she was a stoner too. I think they ended up getting married. after graduation, I ran into him at a football game. I was there with my soon-to-be first husband. John was really drunk or stoned, I couldn't tell which, and he asked me if I would want to go out again sometime right in front of my boyfriend. I was flattered and thought it was funny, my boyfriend was not amused. I saw him again at a restaurant where I was working a few years later. he hit on me again.

anyway, things with Rob were okay, but I wasn't completely happy. we continued to go out for the rest of the school year and over summer vacation. I spent a month with my cousins in a city that was about an hour away, babysitting some younger cousins. he drove up to see me one day, even though he didn't have his license yet. he drove his brother's car, one more reason for Mike to hate me.

we had spent time alone outside of school before but he had recently started pushing me to have sex. I guess there's only so much making out a boy can do before he wants to go further. who knew? that day was worse than usual, but I was sure that I would never give in. and I knew that it was past time for us to break up for good. besides once he got back home, he was in big trouble for driving up to see me and we weren't able to see each other for the rest of the summer.

when school started, we were still officially together but I tried to avoid him whenever I could. a few weeks later I had to tell him it was over but I tried to make sure that he already knew. we decided to still be friends, of course.

one of the freshman girls we knew from band was majorly in love with him. she used to tell me that she was going to take him away from me. after we broke up, he started seeing her. she spent the last half of her freshman year and part of her sophomore year being pregnant with his kid. she wanted us all to act like we didn't notice so we all pretended that we couldn't tell, even though it was really obvious. he was kind of a jerk about the whole thing, which is to be expected, I guess he was mostly scared. he never really cared that much about her anyway. I know that he gave her some money for an abortion but she never got it. after the baby was born, she gave him up for adoption.

to be continued...

ps - do everyone's stories from high school sound like a soap opera or is it just mine?


Dick said...

What ever happened to Jimmy? Sounds like you should've tried to start a relationship with him. Mike sounds like a real a-hole. Sounds as if he were jealous. Love your blog, waiting for part 2.

Michelle said...

pretty much all of part two will be about Jimmy. we did get together but the story is so long I felt like I had to split it up as a separate post. thanks for the comment!

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