Monday, April 04, 2005

broken promises

so bastard, horrible father, ex-husband #2 is trying to back out on a promise he made to the kids to bring them all out to Utah for a visit this summer. saying that he probably can't afford to pay for three plane tickets, which is a big lie, I'm sure. that son of a bitch always has money but he never wants to let go of it. the little one doesn't have a choice, I make her go. she wants to go anyway, even though she's usually bored because he doesn't really do that much when she's out there. the older two won't really care that much, they were pretty much making excuses not to go as soon as he went back to Utah after x-mas.

still it really pisses me off. because he had to know that he wasn't going to want to spend that much of his precious money when he first asked them all to come out. and really, how much do plane tickets cost? lying about the money isn't what makes me so angry, it's that he made a promise to the kids that he's not going to keep. (almost) nothing pisses me off more than that. and when I calm down enough to talk to him without threatening to cut his balls off, I'll tell him that his behaviour is not acceptable, which is probably the only thing I'll be able to say without completely losing it.

my mother was the queen of broken promises when we were kids. it was constant, she would tell us that we were going to do something or go somewhere or see someone and my brothers and I would get all excited about whatever it was. we'd make plans and talk about how much fun we were going to have. and then the day would come and nothing would happen and she would act like we imagined the whole thing. man, we would fall for that one for years. this little game of hers is one of the reasons why I have a hard time trusting people, I think. because if your own mother would lie to you, why wouldn't everyone else?

she still tries to pull that one on my kids every once in a while. and whenever she does I have to make up some excuse for her so they won't have to think that they can't trust their own grandmother. I know I should just tell her to stop doing it but she's too old to change now. and I'm not really sure she realizes what she's doing or how hurtful it is. but that might just be me making another excuse for her.

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