I guess I just expect too much. I'm sure it's hard to wrap your mind around my past and how fucked up I really am almost every minute of every day. I don't do normal things - I can't, and I have a million irrational fears that never leave me for a second. And when you say mean things to me, I honestly just want to curl up and cry but instead I act like I'm fine and you just keep on thinking I'm better. So I must be good at pretending I'm fine. Or you're just good at pretending that you don't notice when you hurt me.

I need a fucking drink.